off-island mommy

with my 18-yr old away at college, there are still five gears at home that need to keep spinning.  husband and i divy up the tasks to stay afloat. we are lucky to have careers that accommodate our schedules and help us balance our lives. the nuances in our typical day will paint the picture:

i rise before everyone else on a work day so that i can commute 50 miles away.
the kids make their own breakfasts, get dressed, and walk themselves to school.
the husband stays in with baby until i get home, he's off to work, or we trade-off to sister.
i leave work early to be spared from a longer commute.
the kids start homework on their own as soon as they get home.
the kids wash dishes and cook rice before we get dinner started.
the kids are to tidy up before i get home.
dinner is prepared at a set time and we cook-in as much as possible.
we meal plan and budget no more than $100/wk for groceries to feed the entire family.
the kids eat together (baby included) so they can have their nightly discussions over the dinner table and help clean up.
the kids are in bed by 8pm unless there is homework to be done.
i only review homework if they need extra help.
i have the kids leave their paperwork for review somewhere that i can see before bed or before leaving the next day.
we make sure to have productive time after they go to bed.
husband prepares the kids lunches when he gets home from work and before he goes to bed.
husband sleeps in with baby.
repeat.

so why am i bad mother? i don't even prepare breakfast for my kids (the 4 middles are the "kids" in most cases) or tuck them in. i delegate as many tasks as possible to keep them busy.  i like to think a responsibility in the morning and at night keeps them accountable. i don't even check on them unless they ask for help because i want them to recognize when they are struggling and to learn the skill of asking for help and asking the right questions. i don't give the kids allowances because i don't believe in using material goods as motivation.  if they want something, they have to earn it and ask for it.  when they get the most rewarded is when they excel academically. i don't even give them the privilege of a cell phone unless i know we'll be separated.  i limit their access to technology unless i know homework and chores are done.  i don't have time to clean every inch in my house so i delegate. its all part of running this machine of mine.